Dear Latin America: You Don’t Mind if We Just Park this Aircraft Carrier Offshore, Do You?

Dear dumb Latins.

We Americans are super sorry about all the misunderstandings we’ve had throughout the years, particularly all those times where you have misinterpreted our good intentions and thought we might have had a hand in some of those unfortunate armed conflicts in Honduras or Panama or Ecuador or Cuba or Nicaragua or Grenada or the Dominican Republic or Chile or El Salvador or Uruguay or Guatemala or wherever. How stupid of you, right? But hey we’re willing to let bygones be bygones.

Anyhoo as part of our ongoing efforts to “build confidence and trust among nations through collective maritime security efforts that focus on common threats and mutual interests,” we intend to station an entire Naval fleet off the coast of Venezuela, headed up by a nuclear aircraft carrier, forever! Doesn’t that sound collective and confidence building?

The whole thing is meant to “send a message to the entire region, not just Venezuela,” so don’t worry. We’re still figuring out the “focus” of the “mission,” but it “will probably be on security.”

This was your heads up so you don’t do anything stupid like invade our mobile sovereign coastal boundaries or else kablooey, k?

Your friend,



Posted in Defense, Reports/Studies/Books, South America, United States, US Foreign Policy, Venezuela, Weaponry

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